Sunday, January 25, 2015

Blog Post #6

Over the past week, I haven't done much. It was mostly due to midterms and the snow. I can't really go running anymore with the ice on the ground, so I decided that it's time to stop focusing so much on working out and to start thinking about actually playing. I went and got fitted for a brace, which should be done in about a week, so until then, I need to work out at the gym or do something that just prepares me for playing. To begin my playing again, I'm going to go to practices with my old coach, since my sister has practice with him right after the older girls, so it's perfect. I'm a little nervous about it but mostly excited to just play. For actual games, I'm really scared. After practicing for a little, I need to play in the South winter league, and then tryouts are right around the corner at the beginning of March. Time is passing really fast, so I need to get a move on and get things done so that I'm ready. Right now, I'm not even close to being ready which is why I'm excited to just go to at least one practice that will hopefully reassure me that I'm capable of returning to soccer. However, I still have to wait until the brace comes. I'm hoping it doesn't restrict me too much, but makes me feel secure enough that I can still be aggressive since I'm sure it'll be a problem getting used to people coming at me and me having to go at other players. That's what is very conflicting...being scared that the brace is going to be too big for me to even play, but at the same time being worried about it not making me feel confident enough that my knee will be fine. All I know is that I just need to play right now since there are way too many mysteries making me nervous that can be answered once I step out on the field.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Over the Holidays...

It's insanely easy to get distracted during the Holidays with all of the excitement. At the beginning of my break, I found myself waking up every morning saying, "Oh yeah, I'll totally go running today!" And then I wouldn't do it at all. After pushing aside the work I needed to be doing for my knee, I decided I needed to step it up once Christmas ended. It scared me because when I went running again for the first time after Christmas, I found that it was really hard. I got tired very quickly and my knee was getting sore. That made me realize that I really needed to stop procrastinating.

Once I started running regularly again, thankfully, my stamina picked back up. Unfortunately, I keep forgetting to test the Nike Running App, so that is definitely my goal for this week. I think that it will really help me to track my progress, so I need to remember! Another thing that I found that helps is going running with a friend. It pushes me to actually get up and do it since I made the plans with someone else and it's harder to stop since I don't want to look like a weakling in front of them! Another person being there really helps me push myself and get a lot of good running time in. Besides running, I also went to a workout training session with some of the South soccer team. I thought that it was really hard because I don't have a lot of strength in my arms already and especially not when I haven't been playing sports the past eight months and not every day like I have been my whole life. So, the weight lifting wasn't my favorite. But that's something I hope to improve on in future workout sessions and when I get back into the sport. The workouts that included leg strength went pretty well, though. I could tell that the physical therapy I did for six months helped because we did exercises at the training that I was familiar with.

As for actually playing, I'm feeling really nervous about that. I touched a ball a little over the break and found that I still have most of the ball skills that I had before. However, my knee felt really exposed and I was nervous to do really fast moves, so I'm hoping that the brace I'm going to get will help that insecurity. I had a doctor's appointment last week and, finally, got the clearing to play! But, I have to ease into it. I'm going to get my brace within the next week, which makes me nervous because I'm scared that it will be big and restrict my playing and make me extremely slow. I need to start training with a ball and get used to the actual ball and contact all over again because I signed up for the South indoor league that actually started today...but I didn't play in it obviously. I hope I can in a few weeks because tryouts are creeping up really fast.

Just saying all of this makes me really nervous. Of course, I'm nervous about injuring my knee again and starting all over, but that's not what's making me REALLY nervous. It's the fear that I'm going to be really bad at playing and lose a huge part of me. Writing this also makes me realize how I'm not ready at all for a contact sport and makes me feel like I really need to go outside in the snow and start playing with a ball to reassure myself. But, my goal for this week is to somehow train with my old team or with my sister's soccer team, since her coach is my old coach, so that I can start to feel ready for this South indoor league. Hopefully, by easing back into the sport, this stress will be gone and I will eventually be back to normal. Until them I'm a nervous wreck!